What the hell is going on with all this power strip deodorant nonsense? If the power stripe in your deodorant is so awesome why the hell is the entire stick not one big power stripe? There are only two possible conclusions: The power stripe actually does nothing except for making your deodorant look purty or the rest of the deodorant does nothing and the bastards who made it are cheap. I’m convinced that the white part of the deodorant is probably even edible, because it sure doesn’t prevent any kind of odor. Here’s a crazy idea, make a whole stick out of the power stripe so my pits don’t smell like Courtney Love’s crotch after two hours of sitting in moderate temperatures. I pay 5 bucks for your piece of shit deodorant; think you could make one that lasts me for a couple of hours shit for brains?

But wait, surely the commercial featuring TO and Jevon Kearse representing odor make this product more palatable. Actually, on second thought, even that commercial sucked. I’m not sure what’s worse, the annoying bitches representing the power stripe or the fact that the commercial is about ten fucking minutes long. We get the idea, the power stripe repels odor, now stop calling people over shitheads. I can sure see why this commercial has been on TV for about half a fucking year now. If this world had any justice the people who designed that commercial would have to run headlong into a firing squad. Remember those old commercials with Charles Barkley? Now that was the right way to sell deodorant. When it comes to protection one shouldn’t mess around.

That brings me to my final point: Barkley, TO, Kearse…. see a pattern here people? This is just another attempt of white America trying to keep the black man down by portraying him as sweaty and odorous. White people can no longer use big lips, watermelon, or fried chicken to stereotype African Americans so they’ve been subliminally controlling us to think that black men smell. Luckily for you guys I’m on top of the situation. I would like to use this opportunity to call for a general boycott of all Right Guard products until they acknowledge their past incidents of racism and rectify the situation in the future. Now African Americans are being ridiculed for their odor, but who knows what Right Guard may try next.

Remember people, next time you are in the deodorant aisle looking for a new stick don’t forget that Right Guard sells inferior products, with shitty commercials, and profits through racism.