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Everyone’s Different, and You’re No Different

by Isomorphic – 2005-02-09 9:31 pm

That’s the way it’s supposed to work isn’t it? Everyone is their own beautiful unique snowflake, but when you get enough of them together, they cause people to go sliding into telephone poles. Everyone plays a different part in the symphony of life, but 99% of them are out of tune. No two people are not on fire. That is, unless you belong to a Greek organization, you willingly dye your hair blonde, or you shop of Abercrombie. However there are some people out there that have enough personality to choke a wide necked pro wrestler, or at least enough to make up for those that have none. I thought I would list some of these people, and point out some of their contributions to society.

Linda Perry of 4 Non Blondes - One of the few people capable of competing with Mick Jagger lip-size-wise, Linda Perry revolutionized the world when she asks “What’s Goin’ On?”. Indeed Linda, you helped to change the world. A world where white women can get corn rows in their hair, and not just black women and white male transvestites.

Tim Burton - For those of us that don’t have enough nightmares on our own, Tim Burton is a welcomed addition to the Hollywood scene. For years he has been creeping us out with Edward Scissorhands, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Batman Returns, and the anticipated upcoming remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Since most filmmakers that go on this many LSD trips never make it big, I salute Mr. Burton for making where he is today.

Dr. Kevorkian - Who wants a lot of depressed people roaming around depressing other people all the time? Sure ‘Jimmy Eat World’ and ‘Saves the Day’ make good music, but if people want to die, they should be given that opportunity. Dr. Kevorkian was able to circumvent things such as laws and help people in need that had no one else to which to turn. For now though, until that euthanasia bill gets passed, or he gets back out of jail, we are on our own.

Carrot Top - The funny thing is that Carrot Top does prop humor very well. The weird part is that what most people see him doing is shitty telephone commercials. Either way, I have to respect someone with his ability to perform whether or not people like it, and his ability to have so much hair. I think the reason he got so ripped lately is that he need to defend himself from the people that see his commercials.

Olsen Twins - Mary Kate and Ashley were able to change the ideals of millions. Before the Olson Twins most 8 yr. old girls didn’t care about how they looked, and most certainly didn’t care about what they ate. Then the Olsen Twins came along and said, ‘You are never too young to gain an unhealthy eating disorder.’ If you ever have free time, go onto the Anorexia/Bulimia Blogring on Xanga or Blogspot and count the ratio of Olsen Twins pictures to everyone else. These girls would be big in Africa, where people could feel good about themselves for seeing some celebrities who had the same diet as them. One can only wonder how the nation will be rocked when the Olsen Twins sex tape finally gets released.

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