As a porn connesieur, I see many trends within the industry developing and disapearing. Most of these trends however, like any other form of entertainent, do not hold true to life whatsoever, and should not be taken seriously. Just in case you were confused, I have decided to list some of the major ones, and talk about them a little.

Every Asshole is clean, every asshole is sacred - I don’t know if you have noticed, but occasionaly people poop with their butts. While this can be done in a relatively clean fashion (thanks toilet paper) it often is not a 100% sterile enviornment. However, in porn you may see something along the lines of a complete random stranger being picked up off the street, immediately followed by their asshole getting licked (Rimjob, Analingus). This is something you probably don’t want to do in real life unless you are somewhat special. What you are not seeing, the smoke and mirrors part, is that these people have cleaned their anuses beforehand to ensure smooth sailing. I heard that they use anything from Ajax (an abrasive?) to BenGay (have been and aparently will be again). For the average person, that is able to sweet talk their girlfriend into anal, you probably want to take a shower (experts reccomend sensual showers, but anykind will do) clean things up real nice with bodywash maybe, and then continue in the shower for easiest cleanup. Showers are good for cleaning up all kinds of thigs too, so feel free to go crazy. (showers will not clean up your girlfriends death, sorry)

It’s only rape until they cum - If you watch enough porn, you’ll eventually see some rape (otherwise you aren’t trying hard enough). It is important to emphesize that the rape in porn is not real. You’ll see something like a dude grab a girl, and she’ll say something like “where are we going?” and then he’ll stick it in her and she’ll say “oh, no!” and eventually she’ll start to like it and becomes a slut. If you think this works in real life you are probably one of my housemates (or me). The truth is that most women are so stubborn, that even if you do a really good job, they probably won’t admit it, and instead claim that they were violated. (sorry Kobe) Nuff said.

Blacker guys, bigger penises? - It’s wierd that sterotypes are harmful even if they are complamentative. In the same boat as “Asians are smart” you will find “Black Guys have big penises”. A feature of the porn industry is that the amount of male porn is relativley small, and it obviously draws guys with big penises (back in the day, you could be like 4″ and still be a pornstar somehow). What this means is that porn is not indicitave of the general population, and you would do well to learn that. You’ll see plenty of black guys with large dicks in porn, but they really are only 3 different guys. While the average penis size of black guys might be slightly larger; 1/2″ - 1″ (I made these up, I really don’t know) you shouldn’t expect them all to have large penises, and you really shouldn’t date someone just for that fact. Know the facts before you become a dogfart.

Do Asian guys really exist? - You never see any in porn, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen them before. Oh wait, I roomed with an asian guy once. Yeah, they do exist. For more information, check out….

Well that has been the first installment. Check back later for more. I hope you were reading this at work.